So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
