we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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