i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
