I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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