Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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