Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The struggles of a small town man whore
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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