I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
