just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
