The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
40s are totally the cure
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
