The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
