alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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