I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
