my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
