I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The beer is more important than you right now.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
