as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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