a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
