Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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