now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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