Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
