hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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