I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
