i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
