you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
love makes seman taste better
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Alive.
So much puke
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
