How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
