she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
