Don't make out with my wife yet
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
