The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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