whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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