There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
