No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
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