ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
