Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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