how do flat chested girls get laid?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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