Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
