About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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