After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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