Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
