I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize