Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
