if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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