im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
