And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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