if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
