Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
