i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
