Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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