Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
