You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
