oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I puked a lego.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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