The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
