stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
