It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
