i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
