Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
