I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
what day is it and did you see me today?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
