some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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