Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
