I have demons in me.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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