if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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