My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize