Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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