do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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