The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's blow job season.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
