she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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