but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
These tits shall not be calmed
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
